Speaking of jewels we can’t get rid of…

Holy crap on a cracker. Jewel has her second Christmas album coming out this month. As the bowl of petunias said: Oh no, not again.

Jewel is a fine artist, but her first Christmas album was to Christmas music what Pauly Shore movies were to the ’90s: a deeply unfortunate stain, best solemnly regretted. Have we not forgotten her unspeakable butchery of Rudolph? What was she thinking by re-releasing a “Christmas version” of her song “Hands”, which is every bit as Christmasy as “Before He Cheats”, and what were radio stations thinking by playing it? Which beloved classics is she going to screw up this time? Argh!

I was so looking forward to the local stations that do Christmas music switching over any time now. Crap crap crap crap CRAP.

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About Lummox JR

Aspiring to be a beloved supervillain
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