I’ll take it as a compliment

Call from “Out of Area”. I mostly only answer these out of sadistic curiosity at this point. Standard clicks, followed by call center background noise. “Hello?” I say. “Hello? Hello?” At last a wearied-sounding Indian voice answers in a half-sigh, almost as if he can’t hear me or just woke up. “…I don’t wanna talk to you.” Click.

Points for honesty, even though I still want his call center to violently implode, but questions abound. Have I talked to this guy before? Does he recognize my voice or number? I find it hard to believe I’d make that pointed an impression, but I’d be happy to find out I did. Is this the guy who called recently offering me a quote on new car insurance rates in my area, yet claimed it wasn’t a sales call? (I got a different one earlier today. Yay. Had to hang up on that one.) Is it a debt collector looking for “Tanya” again? Company #4 with the Indian dudes never used Out of Area before, but maybe that’s new. Could it be one of those scammers pretending to be from Microsoft—but if so why didn’t they just take my number off the list after the last two fiascoes?

I have to admit a sinister little part of me is grinning uncontrollably at the thought that I might have ruined some useless d-bag’s day so thoroughly at one time that when he realized he got my number again in the Carousel of Fail, he was too intimidated to push his luck a second time. There might be hope for this whole supervillain project yet. So thanks, Gupta McForeigner. You just unintentionally made my day.


About Lummox JR

Aspiring to be a beloved supervillain
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