Bad idea mode: KFC seasoning blend

A few months ago I finally managed to stumble across a post listing the KFC recipe that actually looked legit. This being the modern recipe, MSG is included but it is not one of the original eleven herbs and spices. Now obviously I’m not about to try reproducing this in a pressure cooker, as I don’t actually own one, but it occurred to me that the seasoning blend either with or without MSG would be awesome for all sorts of other uses—like on popcorn or potato chips, maybe.

KFC-flavored fried chicken skin? Yes please!

One big problem is that the spices used in the mixture are hard to find pre-ground, and might be hard to find even in a form I could grind myself. If I can find savory at all, I don’t think I’ve ever seen both summer and winter varieties carried separately in their dried forms. (The recipe I found calls for summer only; I’ve seen less credible recipes that included winter.) Or heck, ground green cardamom; the whole stuff is supposedly available in Wegmans, though.

But then I thought: We have the Internet now. We have bespoke manufacturing. Why shouldn’t I be able to simply order a spice blend from someplace?

As it turns out, the answer is “Because apparently nobody does that.” Well they do, but the companies who do this specialize in selling seasoning blends to restaurants under custom labeling. In other words, high-volume orders. But I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to want to buy a custom mix of my own in a small batch, and pay a moderate premium for the service.  The alternative is rounding up a bunch of hard-to-find spices, grinding each and every one of them myself, storing them separately, then mixing them myself. My cupboard doesn’t have room for this.

The question at hand is: Should I bother going the long route and simply ordering the spices I need, grinding them myself, and then blending? That seems like an awful lot of hassle to go through, but there doesn’t seem to be an alternative for anyone but the restauranteur. But the upside is that if the blend turns out to be everything that was promised, I’d have ready access to KFC flavoring whenever I wanted, for whatever purpose.

It’s a very tempting idea. Hence, probably a bad one. But thanks to the Christmas break, I can always run out to Wegmans tomorrow night if I’m so inclined, and if I find all the spices I’m looking for I can always try something stupid on Tuesday. Grinding all those spices probably entails a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond for spice containers, which is also another very bad idea.

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About Lummox JR

Aspiring to be a beloved supervillain
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