Vote bacon

The election is over. Thank goodness. No, that’s not a commentary on the outcome. America chose either the wrong or the wronger candidate, and like I said before I’m not getting political on this blog. Suffice it to say no one was ever going to be truly happy with the outcome either way, except for the fact that it would be over. And so it is now. Now it’s just a matter of praying for the best.

None of which is to say I didn’t have strong opinions going in. I was tense all day yesterday, some of it from the election and some from a work issue that’s been making me sick. (Supposedly the work issue is solved now. Still monitoring.) But Monday night I realized this whole thing was messing with my stomach, and I needed to take action. It was too late to do anything then, but I had time to hatch a plan for Tuesday: a coping mechanism better than drinking.

The night of the election, I made bacon. And then I made waffles. It didn’t eliminate my anxiety when the time came, but at least by then I had a belly full of bacon and waffles. Therefore in the end, the real winner of the night was me.

And today for lunch, I made waffle tacos. As loyal readers (ha!) may know, I take somewhat facetious credit for the invention of the waffle taco. I came up with the idea before Taco Bell ever brought theirs to market, anyway. It’s easy: just stick a leftover waffle square on a plate, slap on a piece of cheese, and fill it with whatever meat you like. Only today, I decided to scramble an egg first in place of meat, and used it to fill two waffle tacos—each of which also had bacon. I’m doing it again tomorrow for sure. In fact, I’m tempted to do it right now.

Anyway, the moral of the story is: when you’re facing absolute dread, reach for the bacon. Cook up a pound and a half or more of the thick-cut stuff. And then make a whole crapload of waffles. Use the fresh result to face the oncoming storm, and the leftovers to deal with the mess it leaves behind. They’ll make it better.

About Lummox JR

Aspiring to be a beloved supervillain
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