In search of: straight macaroni

This is a serious question, and if anyone can answer it I’d be thrilled.

Where in the frell can you buy straight macaroni, like the kind used in Kraft Macaroni & Cheese?

I was watching a video tonight from Todd’s Kitchen where he made crock pot macaroni & cheese. Although I was screaming in my head at the stuff he added for the sauce (onion: no; mustard: no; cream of frickin’ chicken soup: holy crap no; sour cream: no; mayo: frell no), I noticed the macaroni he used was straight. Todd is from Australia, where they have some different things available. By the way, apart from my recoil from his ingredient list in this particular video, I’m actually a fan.

In the US, and even on Amazon, I can’t find straight macaroni for anything. I can find elbows. Lots and lots of elbows. I like elbow macaroni just fine, but I think there’s a lot to be said in favor of the tiny straight tubes that Kraft uses, and darn it I’d like to know where I can get those for my own purposes—without, obviously, wasting a perfectly good box of Kraft Mac & Cheese.

Todd’s macaroni was, I noticed, more like elbow macaroni in size when it cooked up; I’d actually love to find something even smaller. But even a straight version of the basic elbow wouldn’t be bad; you can’t find anything straight at that size. Bigger sizes, sure, but anyone can find ziti or penne on a shelf. And keep in mind, I shop at frickin’ Wegmans. What I can’t find at Wegmans, I can sometimes find at Tops, Walmart, or—in some special cases—Target. But if you live in the United States of America, the land where selection is supposed to be infinite, you can’t buy straight macaroni on its own, even on Amazon. It’s like there’s some kind of law blocking it. This makes absolutely zero sense.

I suppose there’s one possible other option. There’s a place near me that specializes in Italian imports, and they may have a greater variety of pasta than you can find anywhere else. Even though it’s close, to me it’s not worth the special trip to search, because I’m lazy. But I find it mind-boggling that I can’t find such a thing on Amazon.

I mean seriously, search for straight macaroni on Amazon and you’ll just get packaged stuff.

Ugh. I don’t get it. But when I become a supervillain, I’m going to appoint a Minister of Infinite Selection to get to the bottom of it, and heads will roll.

Advertisements

About Lummox JR

Aspiring to be a beloved supervillain
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to In search of: straight macaroni

  1. Lesley Curtis says:

    The UK. I have tonight asked the question of “when did macaroni become straight?” When I was a kid it was always elbow macaroni, not any more :( I miss curly macaroni – swap ya?
    BTW half a teaspoon of mustard and a dollop of Worcestershire sauce in the roux mix makes it taste amazing :D

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s